I've never felt more beautiful about a disease that at one point made me feel so ugly from the inside out. From not understanding why this happened to me to not being able to explain to others how I felt when I was really in the thick of it. From the unseen issues like depression, anxiety, hypertension, chronic pain and fatigue to the visible symptoms like hair loss, weight gain and acne. From almost completely losing myself and my will to live to finally understanding the purpose for my pain and my mission in life! I am grateful for my experience because it purposed me to encourage others to never ever give up but I am so much BIGGER than Cushing's Disease and so destined to be amazing on purpose. #biggerthanmydiagnosis #IAmAmazingOnPurpose #empoWered4success
When I was in the midst of my sickness and my body was changing, I spent a lot of time in “hiding. When I would take pictures or get forced into pictures, I would attempt to hide my body behind others or only take perfectly angles selfies so I could hide what I did not like. As I look back on those pictures, I am reminded not only of the physical pain but of the mental pain I endured every day because I could not accept and love myself enough to not be ashamed of my appearance. Thankfully, through God, prayers, internal and external work, my body and mind was healed and restored.
I have spent the last year trusting God for the continued opportunity to use my testimony to inspire others to pray, love and work through their obstacles. In doing that I have had the opportunity to stand in front of the camera multiple times and not be ashamed of what I saw. Lately, I have been feeling an internal shift in my body and my most recent photos are evidence that change is happening again. The old feelings of wanting to hide have immediately crept back in, making my daily work to love me no matter what a little hard. But as I am a daily work in-progress, I will not allow anything I am experiencing internally or externally define me or keep me from the promise God has for my life.
Today I “Throw Out” the need to “look” the part and to hide behind the perfect picture. I will embrace and own my truth as it evolves and changes because I know that it is all a part of my whole story and my journey to be amazing on purpose. #TellTheWholeStory #IAmAmazingOnPurpose
At times I am reminded of the process my body went through in the midst of dealing with a disease I didn’t know I had. I felt and eventually saw my body changing before my eyes. While I could not explain why it was happening, in my mind I knew something was wrong. At the time I chose to ignore and hide what I was internally feeling. I thought if I ignored it, then it wasn’t happening. If I didn’t give life to it by sharing with others, then it couldn’t exist. Ultimately when I could not ignore it because my body was beginning to show the physical signs, I knew I finally had to not only acknowledge that something was wrong, but I had to move into action to do something about it. That movement ultimately saved my life and allowed me to regain my health. But I often think about how my delay in action could have resulted in a completely different outcome.
Today, my daily work is to pay close attention to my internal signs as it relates to my complete health.
When I am not feeling well physically, I have to review my checklist:
Am I eating properly?
Am I getting enough rest?
Am I emotionally drained?
Am I surrounding myself with positive energy and people?
When I am not feeling well emotionally I make a very similar checklist:
Is my body getting enough physical exercise?
Am I spiritually connected?
Have I taken some time relax and rejuvenate my body and mind?
The biggest lesson I have learned and continue to learn is that eventually the body will show you what your mind is attempting to hide. It is our daily work to go down our complete health checklist, mentally, physically and spiritually in order to be the best version of ourselves. Today is a great day to get out your list and do the work to Take Care of You and be amazing on purpose.
My goal is to take the time to focus on another "ROSE" in need and seek ways to bless, support and encourage her through her current challenges.