Ever ask yourself what would happen to the world around you if you didn’t show up? If you took a day or 2 or 3 off? What if everyone who depended on you in your personal, professional and social life did not have immediate access to you?
I used to think the world was going to end if I didn't “show up” even if it meant running myself completely down physically and mentally. I would show up to work, to family obligations and to all social obligations. Some days I would be so physically sick that my blood pressure would be sky high, my head would be pounding, I would be completely fatigued and my body would ache so bad I could barely walk by the end of the day but, I showed up. When my body had surpassed its threshold for pain, I would crawl into my dark place to cry and feel sorry for myself because I felt unappreciated for my above and beyond efforts to be everything to everyone when they needed me.
And then this thing called a brain tumor happened and it changed my whole perspective on what "showing up" meant. At the age of 37 and after suffering for almost 2 years in silence with a grocery shopping list of health issues that included hypertension, fatigue, chronic pain, acne, skin bruising, extreme weight gain, severe headaches, early menopausal symptoms blurred vision, mental fog, anxiety and depression I was finally forced to “not show up” so that I could finally take care of me. Throughout my sickness I could never justify taking any time off from work and I remember always being so worried about how my team would survive without my leadership. I worried about how my daughter would get her daily care; how she would to and from school; how she would get her homework done and how she would get to her extra-curricular activities. I worried about how the house would get cleaned. I worried about how my bills would be managed. I worried, I worried and I worried.
And then guess what? On September 25th, 2014, I was taken into surgery to remove the life-threatening tumor from my brain. The tumor was the result of a rare disease called Cushing’s and was the cause for so much havoc on my body internally and externally. By the grace of God, I woke up from a successful surgery and endured a 3-month amazing recovery that resulted in me being in my best health in more years than I can recall. At the end of it all, the world was still intact and nothing or no one fell apart because I wasn't there. Not at work, home or anywhere else.
At some point during those 3 months after my surgery I began to see my life and my role in the lives of others very differently. I finally realized that "showing up" was not always enough. I thought about all the times I showed up physically but because of my disease, mentally I was completely clouded and non-productive. I thought about all the times that I valued the opinions of others on my lack of being there over my own need for self-care. Lastly, I thought about how my disillusioned thoughts and actions almost cost me my life. I decided then and there that I would take advantage of my second chance to redefine what "showing up" meant for me:
The biggest lesson I learned through this experience that I am committed to sharing with anyone who will listen (or read) is that the world will not end of you don't "show up" and not taking care of you could quite possibly result in your untimely permanent absence from everyone that loves and values you the most. Taking care of you is not an option; you deserve it and it is necessary. Do something today just for you and continue your work of being amazing on purpose.
Share this with someone you care about today! #empoWered4Success
About the Author:
My name is DaVita Garfield and as the founder of empoWermentNOW I am so honored to be able to embrace my purpose to use my experiences to inspire and encourage others to live on purpose and to be successful without apology. Join me on this journey and let’s do the work to share your inspiring and life-changing story. www.DaVitaGarfield.com
What if you really stopped and took the time to cater to yourself? What if for just one week, one day, one hour or 30 minutes you had no one to answer to, be there for or do things for but you? How could you or those around you benefit from you taking this necessary time out for you? Would you be more effective in your actions? Would you be more pleasant to be around? Would you find the courage to walk boldly in your dreams?
We all have the difficult task of wearing that "S" on our chest for many people in our lives but if we are not careful to stop and do the things we need to do to remain healthy physically, spiritually and mentally, that "S" can easily stand for Stress, Sadness and Sorrow! Taking care of you is not an option, it is a mandatory tool needed on this journey of being amazing on purpose!
Every new day we are blessed to see comes with the ability to choose what we do with it. In your daily work to Make It Happen be mindful of the choices you make as they relate to representing the best version of you, Worry less about what others would choose for you and concern yourself only with your personal mission to Make It Happen and to be amazing on purpose! #empoWered4Success #MakeItHappenMonday
In my women's empoWerment group, A Rose For A Rose, we have a theme called MAKE IT HAPPEN Monday. We follow the same weekly themes in this group because as much as we know the work we continually have to do to become the best versions of ourselves, the consistent reminders help us stay focused, remain accountable and move into action to get the work done.
Sometimes we find ourselves feeling stuck in our worlds because we feel like we just aren't making any progress. It could be with things such as our jobs, completing a project in our homes, improving our financial situations, following through on our goals and dreams, improving our relationships with our significant others, our children, parents, other family members, friends, etc.
Today is a great day for us to refocus, make a new plan and another opportunity to get closer to being our best selves. If it is still on our to-do list, let’s MAKE IT HAPPEN today!!! Have an amazing day on purpose!!!!! #empoWered4Success
Taking care of you begins with the positive messages you give to yourself. Just as you would not appreciate another person talking down or negatively towards you, you should expect the same of yourself. How we treat ourselves from the inside out sets the tone for the kind of life we ultimately live. If we consistently and consciously tell ourselves that we are not good enough, that we don't deserve more or that we can't accomplish a goal, then our obedient subconscious will do its best to make those things so. A better approach to self-care is to consistently give ourselves messages that align with how we see the best versions of ourselves to be. Take some time TODAY tell yourself that you are good enough, that you deserve to be your best, that you can accomplish any goal you work hard on and that you are amazing on purpose!!!
Today is a great day to Make It Happen. Making It Happen is our daily work to accomplish the goals, tasks and dreams that we have for ourselves with the purpose of becoming the best version of ourselves.
Well, sometimes I just don’t feel like Making It Happen. Sometimes, being a super independent happily single-mom is not my ideal role. Sometimes I just want to sit in the passenger seat in the car of life, take my shoes off, recline my seat and fall asleep with my mouth wide open with an extreme comfort and trust in the driver. There are minutes, hours and sometimes days that I just don’t want to be responsible for everyone and everything in my life.
What I have come to learn is that even during these times, I am still Making It Happen. Sometimes, I need to allow myself to take the “S” off my chest, acknowledge that there are some things that not even a Superwoman can control all the time and that my feelings about not wanting to save the world everyday are valid. I have learned to allow myself this time to feel what I am feeling but honestly, I don’t allow myself to feel sorry for myself so that I don’t lose sight of the big picture.
The big picture is that Making It Happen is my daily work to be my best me. I am not my best me when I feel sorry for myself or my current circumstances. I am my best me when I follow my 5 steps back to my Big Picture. Those steps are to Acknowledge, Retreat, Pray, Release and Repeat:
In your times of not wanting to Make It Happen, what steps do you take to get back to your Big Picture? If you have taken your steps and you still aren’t there, today might be a good day to try new steps. But never ever give up or let anything keep you from your Big Picture and from being amazing on purpose.
Happy Throw It Out Thursday! When I moved into a smaller space a few months ago I made a decision to get rid of a lot of "stuff" that I was just holding onto just because it was mine and I was used to it. It was truly the best decision I could have made because I felt so light and free and it left me room for new stuff in my new space. Now months later, my new "stuff" is piling up and my new space isn't so great anymore. I'm not feeling so free anymore. Now I need to sift through this stuff and figure out what I really need, get rid of what I don't and I must admit that it's a little overwhelming.
When we think about the "stuff" of life we tend to carry (hurt, anger, self-doubt, repetitive negative action, negative people, etc), how does it make us feel when we keep piling it on? At what point are we going to take the time to sift through it all and get rid of what we don't need? And what work are we going to do to ensure we don't fill the new space with more "stuff" we don't need?
My Challenge for you today is to "Throw It Out"! Become comfortable with the open and free space that invites only positivity. If it doesn't add to your growth and work to be the best version of you, it can't come into your space. And lastly, do the work everyday to check your space and tidy up before it becomes overwhelming and out of control. Have a great day and be amazing on purpose!
Take some time today to reflect on why you have done the work to be your best you.
My goal is to take the time to focus on another "ROSE" in need and seek ways to bless, support and encourage her through her current challenges.